Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Proposed Boston - Chicago Stanley Cup Mayoral Wagers

Produced in conjunction with and cross-posted at sand.blog


BOSTON
Mayor: Tom Menino


Mixed-media collage of rust flakes and flattened traffic cones from Tobin Bridge

Set of flaming radial tires from Fung Wah bus

Hall tree enhatted with baker’s dozen of Jamaica Plain trilbys

Your choice of Wahlbergs (limit 7)

Complete eight-color set of Sharpies fished out of Allston rock club urinals

Coupon for 10 free B-Line gropings

Commemorative crystal bowl of grit from last nine Boston movies

Complimentary fitting for pair of Massachusetts State Police jodhpurs

Darting tour of Route 1 in Saugus

U-Haul truck previously wedged beneath Storrow Drive bridge. Runs good.


CHICAGO
Mayor: Rahm Emmanuel

One box assorted Montrose beach alewives and sand

Gently used Back of the Yards hypodermic needles

Milk crate from the shoulder of the Eisenhower Expressway (near Austin Ave.)

One quart Horween Leather Tannery Effluent

One bushel discarded Gino’s East pizza crusts

Bag of assorted Brown Line El seat-and-floor chewing-gum scrapings

Pothole fragments (Courtesy Chicago Streets and Sanitation)

Three live jumping carp (not for release into area waterways)

Chicago River Tour hosted by Dave Mathews Band

Private Oak Street Beach party (week of Jan. 26, 2014)

1 comment:

Lord John Whorfin said...

Either way, it seems that a congratulatory video from the Honorable Mr. A. A.Gore, Jr., former Vice President of the United States of America, would be in order.

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